GREY MATTERS
~People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use~ Soren Kierkegaard
This is Andhika, he is seven years old. See how happy he looks? This is
because after years of slave labour sewing tee shirts and writing lyrics
for ColdPlay in a dim, rat-infested basement in Jakarta, he has just
become the only other employee of McRae Inc. and as such, now lives a
life of relative luxury, on a salary of slightly less than a dollar a day,
eating slightly less rotten food, and drinking slightly cleaner water.
How we are able to afford this at McRae Inc? Quite simply, we undertook a time and motion study last year and discovered that we could greatly increase productivity in the recording and touring sectors of our business if we persuaded Tom to outsource his conscience.
This has now happened, and as of June 7th 2009, instead of wasting precious time worrying about global warming, swine flu, the recession, whether Ronaldo will fail spectacularly at Real Madrid, and a myriad of other pressing issues, Andhika now worries on behalf of Tom.
And all for only slightly less than a dollar a day.
His duties include reading a daily newspaper, going on line to check Facebook, MySpace, Twitter etc, listening to the radio and occasionally watching television or YouTube. In this way he can discover all the things that Tom would normally worry about during the course of his day, and simply worry about them for him.
Often the news is distressing, and information about earthquakes and famines, political corruption, rising sea levels, Jordan’s breasts, and the general decline of civilisation can take its toll on him. That’s why he gets an hour off every other year.
So, rather than waste your energy actually caring, or even pretending to care about the state of the planet, let us all finally take the logical step to help others less fortunate than ourselves, by giving them the one job we in the developed Northern hemisphere really don’t want.
Let others give a shit so we don’t have to.
This arrangement perfectly suits both Tom and Andhika. If you don’t believe us, here’s Andhika’s own words on the subject: “please, can I have some food and maybe a little water?”
So you see, at Tom McRae Inc, we are all happier and more productive than ever, and without the cares of the world weighing him down Tom himself finally has the time to plan for the future.
He called us just this morning from his cave somewhere near Helsinki to report that his clockwork torch seemed to work fine, the water filtration system was tickety boo, and that the canned food was arriving by the truck load. He seemed so much happier. Good old Andhika.
because after years of slave labour sewing tee shirts and writing lyrics
for ColdPlay in a dim, rat-infested basement in Jakarta, he has just
become the only other employee of McRae Inc. and as such, now lives a
life of relative luxury, on a salary of slightly less than a dollar a day,
eating slightly less rotten food, and drinking slightly cleaner water.
How we are able to afford this at McRae Inc? Quite simply, we undertook a time and motion study last year and discovered that we could greatly increase productivity in the recording and touring sectors of our business if we persuaded Tom to outsource his conscience.
This has now happened, and as of June 7th 2009, instead of wasting precious time worrying about global warming, swine flu, the recession, whether Ronaldo will fail spectacularly at Real Madrid, and a myriad of other pressing issues, Andhika now worries on behalf of Tom.
And all for only slightly less than a dollar a day.
His duties include reading a daily newspaper, going on line to check Facebook, MySpace, Twitter etc, listening to the radio and occasionally watching television or YouTube. In this way he can discover all the things that Tom would normally worry about during the course of his day, and simply worry about them for him.
Often the news is distressing, and information about earthquakes and famines, political corruption, rising sea levels, Jordan’s breasts, and the general decline of civilisation can take its toll on him. That’s why he gets an hour off every other year.
So, rather than waste your energy actually caring, or even pretending to care about the state of the planet, let us all finally take the logical step to help others less fortunate than ourselves, by giving them the one job we in the developed Northern hemisphere really don’t want.
Let others give a shit so we don’t have to.
This arrangement perfectly suits both Tom and Andhika. If you don’t believe us, here’s Andhika’s own words on the subject: “please, can I have some food and maybe a little water?”
So you see, at Tom McRae Inc, we are all happier and more productive than ever, and without the cares of the world weighing him down Tom himself finally has the time to plan for the future.
He called us just this morning from his cave somewhere near Helsinki to report that his clockwork torch seemed to work fine, the water filtration system was tickety boo, and that the canned food was arriving by the truck load. He seemed so much happier. Good old Andhika.
Stockholm: Earlier today
“The freedom and peace of mind is priceless, certainly worth the slightly less than a dollar day we pay the little chap”, said Tom last month, from his flotation tank in Stockholm.
“There is simply not enough time to care about all the crises occurring minute by minute around the world, especially since, like everyone else who worries aboutthese things, I do absolutely nothing to help, apart from fretting slightly over breakfast”, he added, swirling gently in the total darkness.
“There is simply not enough time to care about all the crises occurring minute by minute around the world, especially since, like everyone else who worries aboutthese things, I do absolutely nothing to help, apart from fretting slightly over breakfast”, he added, swirling gently in the total darkness.